BizCover, Australia’s go-to online business insurance service, has introduced a first-of-its-kind role to support small business owners who find themselves lying awake at night worrying about the wildly improbable.
From rogue emus to asteroid impacts, some business owners obsess over risks that are statistically unlikely but still keep them up at night. To help them, BizCover has appointed April Fuhlman as the company’s first-ever Chief Anxiety Officer (CAO).
Fuhlman’s role is not about everyday insurance risks like theft or fire—it’s about tackling the concerns of overthinkers who dwell on scenarios most people wouldn’t even consider. “I’ve met countless business owners who reckon drinking chamomile tea will help them sleep peacefully and worry-free, but reality is they’re still wide awake at 2 AM thinking about the apocalypse. My job is to remove that worry—one cup of tea at a time,” she explains.
To spearhead this anxiety-reduction effort, BizCover has formed the Strategic Team for Risk, Anxiety and Negation of General Exasperations (STRANGE). The mission? Identify any unlikely risks business owners may think about in their sleep, and ensure they’re prepared for improbable disasters—because, let’s be honest, weird stuff happens in Australia.
With a background in insurance and an impressive record of overthinking, Fuhlman is uniquely qualified to lead the charge. “Most risk education focuses on predictable stuff—cyber threats, burglary, fire. But my team is focused on the niche, the bizarre, the ‘surely that won’t happen to me’ risks.”
She continues, “For example, did you know there’s a 2.3% chance an asteroid could hit Earth in 2032? Seems small, sure, but tell that to the dinosaurs. Our anxious business owners who know this can advise that this is a worry so we can act.”
“You tell us your absurd insurance worries, and we’ll make sure these are explained in your policy” explains Fuhlman. “You can get back to running your café, barber shop, or world-dominating empire while we quietly panic in the background trying to compare great cover for you.”
“Having insurance is a great first step toward peace of mind,” says Fuhlman. “But there are so many unexpected risks—spontaneous combustion, rogue emus, theft by ninja. While we can’t prevent disaster, we can definitely help you not panic in a more organised fashion.”
For more information on how STRANGE can help your business prepare for the entirely unpredictable yet somehow inevitable disasters of entrepreneurship, visit BizCover.com.au.
